Get Caught With An Escort?

Summer heat in London has got the shorts/shades/skirts/sandals out and couples display of overly inappropriate public displays of affection (not that I’m feeling unloved/unwanted/lonely or anything đź‘€đź‘€) even a friend of mine who I’ve said is the dreamiest girl I’ve ever seen laughed off the compliment FML!

Tinashe wouldn’t see me when I went to see her at Koko Camden the other week but standby cause after quite the text hiatus I run into the girl from the Date For Drake blog at this gig (unbelievable Jeff)….After months of ignoring my sporadic Whatsapp messages she tries to act friendly and not wanting to be awkward so do I.

Truth be told this sorry state of affairs has left me seriously thinking of hiring an escort for the night, yes that implies a quick bit of fun but I’m not about that life….A night on the sofa getting cosy watching Film4 is perfection but being truthfully honest I have done some research and looked at at an escort agency’s website .

Having just moved into a new area it’s a perfect excuse to tour the locals bars/pubs (not that I ever need an excuse to go out for a drink) I hope the whole ‘I’ve just moved into the area’ thing will get a better response than just talking about the results of the Formula 1  from the weekend…….Escort plans are on the back burner.

 

 

 

 

How Long Is To Long?

How long is to long to hold out for going out for a drink with someone, genuine question please let me know via twitter @jakedomb

I’ve spent the last couple of months talking to a girl and asking her out for a drink growing slightly frustrated as the weeks pass by and still no after work socializing on the cards.

To point out she’s a teacher so Monday – Friday was always going to be a no go for her whilst my shift work gives me no weekend to plan something…..a modern day Romeo & Juliet, love being estinquished before it even gets started by the s**t demands of work.

I would of given up and accepted her dating profile was a fake had it not been for a mutual friend we both shared, another girl I used to work with in broadcasting…back in the days The Watford Observer called me the most wreckless/dangerous man in Hertfordshire radio.

Anyway the long overdue social happened and being honest it wasn’t the best date, no drinks were thrown over but I felt like I was interrogating the poor girl (It’s easy to slip into this when you can’t think of anything else to say) 

* What’s been your favorite holiday ?

* What’s your favorite food ?

* Are those rumors about the staff room I heard as a kid true ?

We shared a little of our mutual love for Dubai in a cool bar in Covent Garden but felt things got a little awkward when we went for a wonder round the plaza and I linked arms with her…..After a couple minutes I realized her arm was awkwardly dangeling down by her side so bailed.

Although saying this we ended up walking from Covent Garden to Oxford Circ so mabye I was overthinking things, after all she could of just jumped on the train and headed home instead.

Been out of the game for too long! 

Swipe Right & Not Type

What is it with the morons who like you enough to swipe right but as soon as they see it’s a mutual attraction go completely silent! 

As a guy it is your duty to instigate the convo, looking at her profile and picking something specific about her to start the conversation with you’d think would aid you in getting a reply.

So I’m confused to why I’ve currently got 50 matches where I’ve started a conversation and have had no reply…..I know people are busy and may not always read messages but after you’ve sent three over a period of time you assume their not interested in you (I mean I’m not the best looking guy but if I’m really a munter why haven’t these girls unmatched from me/even swipe right in the first place)

It’s the same thing if you get your new crushes number and start talking on whatsapp (those two blue ticks are a God sent, letting you know when that hottie is blanking you) 

Girls if a guy is taking time out of his day to drop you a message have the respect to reply to him, even if it is being black and white and saying your not interested

 A guy who’s taken an interest in you and invested time to strike up a convo and not just demand nudes is worth a reply! 

Hole in One…..Not

 

Back on Tinder and the ongoing disappointment of the catfish – the accounts that spam people to come and join them at some shady cam website.

But then an absolute babe with dreamy (yeah dreamy!) brown eyes, a big hurrrrrrr, don’t careeeee look AND a free spirit not into hookups! GIRL OF MY DREAMS

*SUPERLIKE*

We match and noticing an Uber testimonial on her profile I open the conversation ‘ like your profile lovely, if I was an Uber driver I would have given you 10/10 haha’

weirdly enough it got the ball rolling and a couple days later we go on a date – crazy golf in East London which was hipster fresh  – Neon lights, loud music and a shot bar halfway through the course! TEQUILA SHOTS! as you can imagine my game went south after that and after mending the broken windmill and adding up the scores she thrashed me!

Afterwards we go and grab a burger and some shakes (Soooo American) we both spend the rest of the evening talking about food….Turns out we’re both foodies! (can you freakin believe it! :D) No awkward silences

We end the night hand in hand walking back to the tube station and exchanging farewells I go in for a kiss on the cheek trying to be a gent but she pouts for a proper kiss! I mean an absolute pleasure but it was an unexpected surprise…She gets on her train while I still try to figure out what happened.

A few weeks go by with me asking her out again but I’m told that where she is at the minute she can’t get into anything right now…Not what I wanted to hear but I’m consistent and won’t give up till I’m blocked on whatsapp.

J

No Commitment but Thought Different 

So about a little over a month ago I got a follow request on Instagram from a girl I matched with towards the back end of last year. 

Disclaimer – There was no promise or commitment but from what she was saying it was never just a bit of fun…This chick was from ‘Plenty of Fish’ her profile seemed legit and she was looking for something serious, as was I.

We arranged a date and went for a few drinks in Soho after work one night, it was a standard date although I should of known she was only looking for a lover to burn when she invited me back to hers at the end of the night, I brushed it off saying that I was on the early shift the next morning and should get home.

To point out we both were looking for a relationship so I asked her out again, on the weekend the Tequila festival was in town (what a great festival) anyway I ended up back at hers and stayed the night

The next morning all the ‘you make me laugh’ ‘your the perfect guy’ ‘I really like you’ compliments were replaced with ‘yeah I still love my cheating ex’ I leave her place pissed off that the fantasy of living with her in Vauxhall had disappeared and the reality of trekking it back to zone 6 was fact once more but also pissed I’d just been a quick bit of fun

FYI GIRLS! It’s not only guys that use you for your body, that s**t works both ways, across the board!

I mean who does she think she is playing me! I’m husband material – her on the other hand with an Australian accent that sounded like a poor mans cockney accent (just me that thinks Australian sounds like a slowed down East London accent?)

Leaving it a few days I text her and get a reply saying that she’s an awful person and she got super wasted the other night and slept with some random guy…I was disappointed as I thought we were into eachother but I’m not a mug! It ended there.

Some months later about a month ago I get a follow request from this girl on Insta – I accept not really knowing what to expect…I get a message within half an hour ‘hey how you? New year and I’m trying to be a better person I Feel bad about what happened’ 

This isn’t an opportunity for women to say ‘now you now how it feels as a woman, to be led on and ditched afterwards’ this is about the principle of things being black and white – I like you, you like me, let’s get together

Date For Drake

I do resent myself slightly for still being on Tinder (amongst an array of others) but when the opportunity came to see DRAKE live in concert I thought I was sure to bag myself a  babe.

The story goes that I brought tickets back in October and thought that I would have plenty of time to find a +1 for the date that I got tickets for (VALENTINE’S DAY) I mean what a perfect date – getting to see Drake on Valentine’s with me (I’m hilarious trust me)

January passes by and in the first few days of February I change my tinder photo to a selfie holding the two tickets I’ve got, quick session on photoshop and caption it ‘Need A Date For Drake’

I start messaging a couple of old matches enquiring about their plans for the day of love, I get a couple of replies and after sharing what music we’re into at the minute I mention that I’m seeing Drake the following week and could do with a date….Long story short nothing really happens

Fast forwarding a few days the anxiety starts creeping up, I start messaging female friends on Facebook/Whatsapp/Instagram but they’ve all already made plans with their guy or going out with the girls ‘All The Single Ladies, All The Single Ladies’

It’s now the 13th February and I’m wondering how did this happen, a spare ticket to go see Drake and it’s still looking like another Valentine’s I’m spending on my own…..I notice an old friend/colleague from my retail days is on Facebook chat – I ask if she fancies seeing Drizzy the following night (surprise she’s already got plans) BUT! she does pass my number onto a mate of hers who’s single and LOVES Aubrey and we end up whatsapping throughout the day before the gig.

So a blind date entails with this girl who’s a friend of a friend, we met outside North Greenwich Tube, a total babe who is part Columbian, we exchange the pleasantries and get super excited for Toronto’s finest….A couple of Mojito’s in TGI Fridays before the gig and the convo was lit! no awkward silence here!

The gig flew by and we got the train home, I asked her to text me when she got home safe which she did…More texting over the next couple of days reliving the gig and how we should do it  again sometime but she replies ‘we are just friends right…I’m not really looking for anything’ 

Failed! always the bridesmaid never the bride (no complaints though she’s genuinely a nice girl)